loving doing nothing down under'

Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing here, I admit it. While I have come to Australia in order to experience life and pleasure, during the first weeks I was here, I felt a bit of panic as to how one should do that. Generally speaking, though, I think that Western people have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Statistics back this observation up, showing that many people feel happier and fulfilled in their offices than they do in their own homes. Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, and then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pyjamas, eating cereals straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma. This is because, in contrast to Australians, we don’t really know how to do nothing. This is cause of the great sad stereotype – the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax.
For me, though, a major obstacle in my pursuit of traveling an indulging pleasure was my ingrained sense of guilt. Do I really deserve this pleasure? This is so typical, the insecurity about whether we have earned our happiness. During my planning of traveling to see the world, all my synapses were exciting in distress, looking for a task, looking for something to do that matters and which justifies my absence; a medical internship. I am glad that I succeeded in that in order to seize my feelings of guilt. And now that I am here and planning my months of traveling after my internship I am still looking for this confirmation. When I told my Australian friends that I was planning on doing some months of traveling in order to experience pure pleasure by seeing the world while doing nothing, they didn’t have any hang-ups about it. Nobody once said, How completely irresponsible of you, or What a self-indulgent luxury. Moreover, it is not like all of this, my ticket to Sydney just came flying into my student's apartment window on my lap, passively willing to accept. I have worked real hard for years at Uni in order to get here. You don’t get five scholarships for doing nothing. Well you know what, I am here, alive and kicking, and I am going to live! These days of spontaneous travel are such a glorious twirl of time, some of the loosest days of my life, running to the train station and buying tickets left and right, finally beginning to flex my freedom for real because it has finally sunk in that I can go wherever I want. What the fuck, why not go to New Zealand for a few weeks in April!? In the reasoning of while we're here down under’ might as well make a leap to the place real down under. I am curious to see a country most far away from my sweet home Holland on planet Earth.

But before I do, I am happy to announce that I am going to spend the coming days of nothingness with Lianne who is expected to arrive here tomorrow! Baby, Sydney’s firework ain’t worth nothing compared with the lights you’re shining through!

See you down under'

Long distance cooking

Today my brother and sister came to me, slightly panicked, because they were expected to prepare the desert for family Christmas dinner in Holland. They wanted to make my famous Tiramisu recipe and they asked me if I could guide them through the process in the kitchen via Skype Video Conversation. Hilariously I was giving them cooking orders, in their time 13:30, from my bed in Sydney at my 23:30. In between the cooking steps I could even give my dad some clothing advice. I enjoyed being needed! I said to my brother and sister that the only thing they could mess up was the separation of egg white from the -yellow step. My brother tried his first attempt which led to a complete failure resulting in a splashed egg all over the kitchen table. It was then when I realized that giving cooking instructions abroad was going to be harder than I had expected. However, with a constant intensive virtual support they had finally managed to create this delicious Italian desert. Unfortunately I was not able to taste the result. I guess I am just going to have to wait for the family christmas dinner review.

Merry Christmas!!

Absolutely fabulous

I just had the best weekend here in Sydney so far. Friday afternoon I had a X-MAS bbq with my lab colleagues. It was so nice to see them in an informal setting, instead of in between chemical bottles. There was a blown up castle present in order to release your inner child. You would really be surprised how popular that castle was among my fellow researchers! After the bbq we made our way to King’s Cross Hotel where the after party took place. Upon entering this classy hotel I received a VIP band which allowed me to get free food and beverages. How fabulous is that! There was a DJ playing his music and I danced, drank and laughed the entire night with the other students. I think we upgraded our social status from casual-conversation-in-the-hall-way to one of beginning friendship. After a while I got kicked out the hotel by the bouncer due to drunkenness. I can tell you that this was really unfair! Because I wasn’t indulging that much alcohol, as I was still in the presence of my colleagues and, therefore, tried to maintain some dignity and not having to look for it inside the toilet. Even my attempts of standing on one leg while counting backwards from 100 did not impress this bouncer. Ah well, Sydney is too vibrant to be staying too long in one place anyway. So I went bar hopping with my newly made friends for the rest of the night.

Saturday I was off to go to my second audition, the theater production based upon the classic the Icemen cometh. This show, which was also translated into a movie starring Al Pacino, is about cynical whiskey drinking men discussing essence of life. On my way to get there, I had to take the train for my first time here in Sydney. Exciting as that is on its own, it was even more thrilling when the train had to cross the water to reach North Sydney. Eagerly I was looking out for the Harbour Bridge, because I could not seem to find it instantly. How could you miss Sydney’s hallmark when you’re so close by!? But it was then when I realized that the train was actually crossing the water over Harbour Bridge. Awesome! I arrived at the theater and I immediately loved it. There’s just something beautiful about a stage shined upon with bright spotlights. It makes me feel like I belong there, as it had felt like when I did theater in high school, or even already at primary school really. I also liked the other persons who were auditioning with their extravert flamboyant behaviours. As if their lives are just one big show filled with drama. I love it! I met the very friendly director and she handed me a piece of paper with lines for the character Willie Oban I was auditioning for. On my application form they also asked questions whether I would be interested, if I did not get selected, to do some technical stuff backstage, ea. lights, music, and clothes, or learning lines for a character as a back-up. I wrote down nice and clear: I am here only for being on stage. No-one puts baby in the corner. I wasn’t feeling nervous at all, I was actually feeling rather comfortable. Much more comfortable compared with my short film audition last weekend. I could really connect with my lines and I knew I could work it. I was feeling very confident. And so I nailed my audition. I had them wrapped up on my little finger, playing with them, teasing, and they had no idea what came over to them. I wanted the part so badly. I had to do well. They said it was a great audition and they even wanted to see me doing another audition for a different character, the director’s favourite character, Hugo. So I also auditioned for that part and I think I did very well. They seemed to like it and she could not stop laughing after my audition. The good kind of chuckles though, not the oh-my-god-you-are-rubbish laugh. She is going to call me one of these days with the result. I can’t wait to hear it! Because there were a lot of people doing auditions. It would be such a great opportunity to meet the kind of people I love hanging out with.

After my audition I went over to the apartment of Jovana, the kiwi gal, to chill at her place near Manly’s beach. She was staying at her uncles and he owns such a pretty loft! I was sitting on a big balcony, cocktail in my hand, listening to Jazz music while enjoying the afternoon sun in the beautiful Manly. God, I was feeling like Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous! At some stage we decided to go out. Jovana putted me in a sexy outfit, as I only had my day clothes with me, which in Sydney is not-done to wear when you’re going out. It is not like the Netherlands where you can basically pull off clubbing in your pyjamas! No, not in the fabulous Sydney, here they like to dress up. We went bar hopping and I was having a great time.

On Sunday, while drinking my coffee and actively focussing on full body recovery - I am not used to going out two days in a row anymore – I received an e-mail from the director of the short film I auditioned for last week. I hadn’t heard from them in a while so I assumed that they hadn’t selected me. But it seemed that my fabulousness had expanded from the theater to the movie industry, as they mentioned that they had picked me for the leading role!!!!

Coming days are probably going to be very busy with work, short film production, and potentially the theater show. But I am happily willing to reserve an additional space in my trophy cabinet for an Oscar award, right next to the spot destined for my Nobel Prize.

Adding some Dutch flavour to the Australian film industry

Today I had my first acting debut in Sydney! I've been contacted by the production manager of the short film Good Love, which is going to be displayed coming February at Tropfest Sydney Film Festival 2012; the world's largest short film festival. They asked me to come in as an extra (=figurant) for a scene that takes place in a pub in so-called London, and they thought I was suitable for the job with my European look. I had to play a British dude watching the football match in the pub cheering for Leeds. I am sure I am going to have at least a few seconds of fame, as I was requested to skull a beer in front of the camera. This take had to be done over a few times. So at the end of the shooting, which lasted a few hours, I was feeling a little bit tipsy. But I enjoyed the entire atmosphere! The spotlights, the camera's, the professional filming jargon; Action! Take 23 re-pick! Do you know they actually do use that strange filming clicking device (What is it called?) prior to Action! Actually, as an actor, most of the time you spend waiting for the instructions. Then suddenly, without being briefed, the director wants to start shooting and you have no idea what to expect but just have to go with it. At some point I had to have an improvised casual conversation about the football match. I thought that was really hard! Because it is not something I would normally do in real life. Ah well, for the first time I think I did a good job! We will see in february if I pulled it off! At the moment, I am still waiting for a response from that experimental film I auditioned for last weekend. Now that I have had a little taste of the movie industry, I am hoping a little bit more that they'll pick me! For now, as they say: That is a wrap, people!!

Christmas Spirit attempts in Sydney

I recently had heard the song Jingle Bells being played inside a shopping mall, with a temperature outside reaching towards thirty degrees. Shockingly, as I took a few steps forward I noticed a Santa Claus dressed in winter outfit. I just instantly felt like vomiting! It was such a weird feeling. As if I was experiencing a biological culture shock. I guess my body with its circadian rhythm was actually missing the winter. The cold. As if my body wants to prepare itself for the winter but instead has to cope with another summer. Confusing. Also, normally around this time of the year I usually start singing my favourite Christmas song: Let it Snow, day in day out. But here it just feels plain wrong singing it. Because the weather isn’t frightful, and the songs certainly aren’t delightful! I miss running around with my Christmas hat on harassing housemates, our any other person for that matter, whom just came home escaping the unbearable cold, while Mariah Carey and Michael Bublé X-mas edition songs are competing in the CD-player. But instead, I am having a X-mas BBQ with my lab colleagues in Centennial Park coming Friday. Luckily I brought my bright red shorts, cause I won’t be needing my woollen Christmas vest with reindeers (which I don’t really possess, but adds a nice dramatic effect for this blog purposes)

But then again… when I look in the mirror and I see my tanned body and lightened blonde hair, all my Christmas miseries just melts like snow for the really, really bright Aussie sun.

The sun that out-shined me

When I woke up this morning the weather was cloudy again. Nevertheless, the temperature was pleasant and I still felt like going to the beach. I thought I was going to have to shine for two again, since the sun wasn't shining through once again on a sunday. I quickly used some sunscreen on only the dangerous areas; the neck, and the nose. As I laid on the beach reading a book it was getting more and more cloudier. I was getting a bit suspicious when the locals were suddenly all abandoning the beach with pace. I really wanted to finish my chapter first. This was a mistake. The dark clouds raced above my head and I found myself in a tropical thunderstorm while laying on the beach in my swimming trunks. Great. To make matters worse, when I came home all soaking wet I felt this burning sting on my skin. Not only was I a drowned poodle, but I was a burned one too. The sun out-shined me on a rainy day. Unfair!

The result of putting sunscreen on only the neck on a rainy day in Sydney.

Audition 1. Experimental short film production

As the weather hasn't been cooperating very well with my surfing ambitions, the wettest December since 40 years, and as I have occasionally been woken up sweaty in the middle of the night, stunned by that characteristically daunting Jaws sound; I decided it was time for me to find a new hobby aside from surfing. I remembered that I used to love doing theater back in my high school days, and unfortunately I haven’t been doing it anymore since I went going to Uni. Therefore I thought, why not pick it up where I left it five year ago? I must say that I always love being dramatic, especially in English.

(some of my frequent phrases: Well, spank my butt and call me cowboy. Hieee Ha. Wrap him up and take him home, and Honey, you can ‘’verb’’ me …anytime! Do I need to say more? I know you miss my comments ‘’huize Alcatraz’’!)

Moreover, my nickname dramaqueen during the Donau rowing trip last European summer hasn’t been given to me for any reason, it was well earned!! As I mentioned I am having heaps (=Australian for ‘’a lot’’) of time to do some thinking here. And one of the subjects has been how does my future look like!? I am really fond of my study, and I love doing research in the lab. But I must honestly say, I also haven’t been considering anything else in the past 5 years. I always try to embrace life and to keep myself open-minded. Haven’t I been suffering from a tunnel vision when it comes down to my profession? It sounds silly, but when I was young I always wanted to be an actor. I used to secretly write letters and address it to ‘’Hollywood’’, with no stamps or whatsoever, because I couldn’t possibly tell my parents. I would do the explaining once I got the part! I know that it was just a silly child fantasy, but that doesn’t take away the fact that I used to love doing theater! I also think that it would be a nice boost to my social life here! So I did some research on the internet and I had found a website where auditions were being posted for theater and movie productions. I made a little profile and started applying for auditions. Two days after I send in the applications I already received invitations for three auditions! I am auditioning for the following three projects, sorted on time of audition:

1. Experimental short film productions about a boy having illusions about a girl.

2. Theater production called the Iceman Cometh, about whiskey drinking men.

3. An action featured film about soldiers getting slaughtered.

Today I had my first audition, the experimental short film, and it was so awesome! I was expected at the Academy of Information Technology at 10:00 A.M. I must say that, surprisingly, I wasn't feeling nervous at all. I started talking to the competition and I met some nice people. There were like 10 boys present for, obviously, the male role, and 8 girls for the female role. I received a piece of paper with audition instructions for 10 minutes preparation, which were as follows:

It is a quiet Tuesday night; you are enjoying a dinner with your mother in the restaurant. She orders a steak and asks the waiter that she would like it well done. The waiter brings the steak and it’s medium.

Your mum send the steak back.

You hear the waiter telling the manager that your mum is a picky bitch.

What is your reaction?

We need to see your ability to be angry and mad at a person. Feel free to use bad words.

I loved the audition piece! I can be angry! From my teenage theater experiences, I know that the best way to act a certain emotion is to think about something in your personal life that can evoke that particular emotion. Without hesitating I immediately thought about the Rabobank. It was a quite similar situation: you want a service. They fuck it up and make you feel like you’re the bad person. I could feel the growing rage inside of me and I was feeling blessed for this opportunity on a Saturday morning to be able to air out all my frustrations, justified in a screaming, angry audition piece. As my name was announced I walked into the intimidating audition room. I was feeling so excited and at the same time healthy nerves were starting to pop up. There were five people sitting in a row, a HUGE camera in the midst of them, all facing this one empty chair in the middle of the room. I assumed they wanted me to sit there. So I did. I haven’t done any acting auditions in my life for film purposes, but I knew there were some key things to remember: 1. Ignore the camera. 2. Don’t overexpress emotions in a theatrical way. After my introduction they asked me to play the audition piece. I asked for ten seconds to find my angry emotions, but when I thought of the Rabobank I only needed three seconds, really. So I started off nice and slow, wanting to build up my frustrations to a climax, I said: Are you fucking kidding me!?... Slowly but intense I continued... I came down here to this restaurant with my mother to enjoy a quiet evening with my well done steak. All you have to do is: write down the order, well done steak. Get your ass back to the kitchen and process the order. Upon which you should bring me back the right dish! - I was really getting angry now as I thought about the wrong creditcards and the exhausting pincard Rabobank style procedures – The right dish was a well done steak!! Not this medium piece of shit! ARE YOU A FUCKING RETARD!?

I was shaking by anger at this point of time. And I felt wonderfully relieved. Still the five people, professionally, had the same blank expression in their eyes. Not really sure if that was a good thing… Anyway, next they asked me if I could pretend to smoke a cigarette. I guess they wanted to see if I could pull off the smoking look. They offered me a pen to suck on. It felt so stupid to be pretending to smoke a cigarette with a pen. But if that’s what they want, then that’s what they’ll get.

That was all they needed to see from me. They told me that they’ll be shooting in the weekends of January (perfect!) and that they’ll be in touch. Though, from my experience, we’ll be in touch is never a good thing. But it doesn't matter. I really wanted to do this audition just to have the audition experience. Sure it would be great if they’d select me, but I am keeping my expectations low. After all, there were nine other contesters for the role who were apparently all well educated in acting schools. Nevertheless, when I left the building I felt amazing! Like all my frustrations had left my system and I just gained another crazy experience here in Sydney life.

One audition down, two to go!

(Web) Surfing

Things have been crazy in the lab! I have been so busy with my experiments that I had often come home late at night, feeling absolute exhausted. I am greeting the weekend with open arms after I have had delivered hard-work for merely being slapped in the face by science upon receiving disappointing results. Though, sometimes even the weekends can become a little intimidating here. The high amounts of free time to spend with myself, in the absence of social obligations, can become pretty overwhelming to me. My thoughts are exhausting me! No wonder I have the annoying tendency to talk to everyone around me. I can't stand having to be the listener to my thoughts all day. In the mornings I run in the park, while thinking; noontime I go sightseeing, while thinking; at night I read books and drink wine, while thinking. The reason I went out clubbing here is to flee the presence of me. Dealing with too much time with myself, the subsequent introversion of my extrovert existence, have made me drown in self-reflection and consequently in CH3-CH2-OH containing beverages, to stay in scientific terms. I need a break, a distraction from me! Therefore, the last couple of days I have done some intensive thinking to come up with a potential hobby to keep me busy in weekend times. Surely there must be something to do here in the vibrant Sydney life! I have had googled loads of terms; guitar lessons, singing lessons, dance classes, yoga sessions - It seems like everyone in Australia practices yoga, especially the variant Bikram Yoga in which you perform poses in a heated room appears to be very famous in Sydney. But it all just did not felt compatible with me. I even desperately threw in the search engine the sentence: What to do in Sydney when it's raining, leading to several interesting forums in which the best rain-proof activities were heavily debated, sadly enough, but slighly more saddening for the corresponding websurfers. And it was right there when it had hit me. Websurfers. Why surfing the web if I could be surfing the waves!? I had crooked a childhood like smile when I thought of me, overcoming my shark-phobia, taming the biggest waves of Australia. That should ought to silence my thoughts for a while! Honestly, it could not be just merely coincidence that I have been aspiring a surfer's haircut for the last few years now. This could be my calling! So, eagerly I had found a surf school on the web who's instructors will pick you up at Bondi Beach, take you in their van and drop you off at a very quiet beach (sounds peculiar so far), in order to teach you surfing in a suitable environment, unable to inflict damage to yourself and your surroundings (Ah; No murderer's intention after all). That had sounded perfect!

However, just when I thought that I have had found myself the ultimate distraction for the coming weekend, my crooked smile vanished like snow for the sun when I had checked the weather forecast. Rain all weekend, with potential thunderstorms! I caught myself browsing the depressing rain forums again. Loaded with the knowledge that the only thing I'll be surfing this weekend is the internet, I'd better add a Single Malt to my shopping cart.